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Navigating Winter Break: Parent Edition

Missy Kleinz

How to Prepare for Your College Student Coming Home

A family in matching holiday socks by the fireplace

Winter break is here parents, and you're probably excited to have your college student back home for a few weeks. After months of separation, being home together can be a wonderful opportunity to reconnect—but it can also bring its own set of challenges.


The child you said goodbye to at the beginning of the semester is more likely to resemble a young adult now. They have become more independent, developed their own routines, and are now accustomed to making decisions on their own. Meanwhile, your household may still operate under the same rules and expectations as when they were in high school. It's natural for these differences to lead to some friction, but with clear communication and mutual understanding, winter break can be an enjoyable time for everyone.


Here are some tips to help you navigate the transition and set the tone for a peaceful and fulfilling break.


1. Recognize Their Growth and Independence


Your student has likely changed a lot since leaving for college. They've been managing their own schedule, making decisions, and living with more freedom. When they come home, they might expect that same level of independence—while you may feel the urge to step back into the parental role you've always known.


One way to set a positive tone for the break is to acknowledge your child's growth. Express pride in their independence, and ask about the new routines or habits they've developed at school.


Example Conversation Starter:

"It's so great to have you home! I'd love to hear about how you've been managing things on your own—what's been working well for you?"


By showing respect for their independence, you're building a foundation for open communication.


2. Revisit House Rules and Expectations


While your child has been used to setting their own rules at college, your household likely still runs the same as before they moved away. Whether it's curfews, chores, or shared spaces, it's important to have a conversation about how these expectations might evolve during the break.


One area that is important to address is expectations around curfew. If you'd prefer your student to check in or stick to a curfew, explain your reasoning. Instead of enforcing it as a rule, frame it as a matter of respect for everyone's comfort.


Example: "We're happy to give you the freedom to come and go, but it would be helpful if you could let us know when you’ll be home late so we're not worried."


Another area to address is chores. Your student might not instinctively jump back into helping out at home. Instead of assuming they'll know what's expected, be clear about how they can contribute.


Example: "We'd love your help with dishes after dinner, so let us know the best way to fit that into your schedule."


3. Respect Their Need for Downtime


College can be exhausting, and your child might come home needing to recharge after the rush of finals. While you might be eager to fill their schedule with family activities, remember that they may need time to sleep, relax, and recover from a demanding semester. They may also want to spend time with their childhood friends who they haven't seen since summer.


Be mindful about giving them space to unwind, even if it feels like they're spending a lot of time in their room. Balance this with planned quality time so everyone feels included.


Example Activity: Suggest a family movie night, baking holiday treats together, or even a casual walk to catch up.


4. Be Open to Negotiation


Winter break is an adjustment for everyone. Your child is no longer a full-time member of your household, and this temporary arrangement requires compromise. Be open to discussing how to blend their college independence with your household routines.


Tip: Use “we” language to show collaboration instead of conflict.

Example: "How can we make sure we're all on the same page during your time at home?"


5. Prepare for Possible Tension


Even with the best intentions, challenges may arise. It's normal to feel frustrated if your expectations clash. Whether it's about helping out around the house, spending enough time with family, or curfews, take a deep breath before reacting.


As the parent, model the behavior you'd like to see from your student. Practice calm and respectful communication, and focus on problem-solving instead of assigning blame.


Example Response: Instead of saying, "You're so inconsiderate," try, "I feel upset when I don't know your plans—it makes me worry. Can we figure out a way to communicate better?"


6. Celebrate the Opportunity to Reconnect


While winter break can bring challenges, it's also a wonderful chance to strengthen your relationship with your student. Focus on creating positive moments together, showing interest in their college experiences, and finding new ways to bond as adults.


You can encourage conversation by asking open-ended questions about their time at college. Avoid prying too much into grades or social life—let them share at their own pace.


Example Question: "What’s something you've really enjoyed learning this semester?"


Conclusion


Having your college student home for winter break is a special time, even if it comes with its own set of adjustments. By recognizing their independence, communicating clearly, and approaching challenges with empathy, you can set the stage for a positive and meaningful break.


Remember, this transition is as new for you as it is for them. With a little patience and mutual respect, you can make winter break a time of growth and connection for the whole family.


Could Your College Student Use Extra Support This Winter Break? If your student is feeling overwhelmed or struggling to navigate the challenges of college life, winter break is the perfect time to help them reset and refocus.


My College Years Intensive is a personalized 7-hour program designed to:


  • Build confidence and manage stress.

  • Improve communication and set boundaries.

  • Help students feel prepared and empowered for the next semester.


This flexible, virtual program includes therapy sessions, resources, tools, and a personalized workbook to support your student's mental health and personal growth.


Click here to learn more or schedule a free consultation today. Together, we can make sure your student heads into the next semester feeling confident and supported.

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©2023-2025 Dr. Melissa Kleinz, PhD, LPC, LPCMH, NCC
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Serving clients online in Chadds Ford, Radnor, and throughout the state of Pennsylvania. Also working with clients in Greenville, Rehoboth Beach, and throughout Delaware, Florida, and South Carolina. 

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