Back-to-School Anxiety: Why It's Normal and How to Cope

Helpful Ways to Manage Anxiety about the Unknown

Managing Back-to-School Anxiety

The start of a new school year can stir up a lot of emotions. Maybe you're excited to see friends again, maybe you're nervous about your new schedule, or maybe you feel a mix of everything all at once. Will you have any friends in your classes? Will you have someone to sit with at lunch? What happens if you can't handle that honors class? The anxiety spiral is so real. If you've found yourself caught in it, you're not alone.

As a therapist who works with high school and college students, I see how common back-to-school anxiety really is. That knot in your stomach, racing thoughts, or even dread when you think about the first day? Those are your body's way of saying, "This matters to me." Even if you are looking forward to returning, there's still the anticipation of the unknown. It's totally normal, and it doesn't mean you're weak or not capable. It just means you're human.

Here are a few gentle reminders and tools to help you manage back-to-school anxiety this year:

1. Name What You're Feeling

It can be difficult to know exactly what we're feeling. Sometimes identifying a feeling starts with noticing how it shows up in your body. That's why the first two steps in my IRULE framework - Identify and Recognize - often work hand-in-hand.

Check in with your body - how is the feeling showing up? Rapid heartbeat? Difficulty breathing? Stomachache? All common symptoms of anxiety. Our bodies can give us clues as to what's going on. Other times we can identify the feeling but we try to minimize it or make it go away. Anxiety often grows louder when we try to ignore it. Instead, pause and notice what's really going on:

• Are you worried about fitting in socially?

• Is it about keeping up academically?

• Does the change in routine feel overwhelming?

Once you name the fear, it usually feels a little less scary. If you need some help naming your feeling, my Feelings Wheel can be a helpful tool to move beyond "just anxious" and discover whether what you're really feeling is nervous, overwhelmed, insecure, or maybe even excited.

The more specific you can get, the easier it is to understand what you need. For example:

• "I'm nervous about making new friends." feels different than

• "I'm worried I'll fall behind." or

• "I feel overwhelmed by change."

When you name it clearly, you can start to take steps that actually match what you're feeling. Whether it's talking to a trusted adult, brushing up on your time management skills, or learning what coping tools work for you, knowing what you are feeling will help you figure out your next steps.

2. Create Small Moments of Calm

Transitions feel less overwhelming when you build in small comforts. This could look like:

• Pick out a morning playlist that calms or energizes you.

• Pack a snack you love.

• Take a few deep breaths before your next class, or carry a small comfort item with you.

Think of these as touchpoints - tiny reminders throughout the day that help you feel grounded when everything else feels new and unpredictable. These small moments of calm might not take all the nerves away, but they can give you a sense of control and something to ground you in the moment.

3. Challenge the "What Ifs"

Anxiety loves to play the "what if" game: What if I fail? What if no one talks to me? What if it's too hard?

When you notice those spirals, try flipping the script:

• What if I surprise myself?

• What if I meet someone who gets me?

• What if I am actually really good at this subject or activity?

You don't need to believe the new thought 100% for it to help. It just gives you another way of looking at things so anxiety doesn't have such a tight grip on you. Sometimes, even just asking "What if it goes better than I expect?" is enough to loosen anxiety's grip.

A Final Reminder

Back-to-school anxiety is common, and it doesn't mean you're going to fail. Starting something new always comes with uncertainty. Remember, having anxiety about school doesn't mean something is "wrong" with you - it means you care. And that caring is a strength, even when it feels heavy. So be gentle with yourself, take things one step at a time, and remember - you've gotten through every other "first day" before, and you'll get through this one too.

If you'd like extra support, tools like my IRULE framework and Feelings Wheel are designed to guide you through those "big feelings." They can help you Identify, Recognize, Understand, Let yourself feel, and Employ coping tools so that emotions feel less overwhelming and more manageable.

And if your anxiety starts to feel bigger than what you can handle - interfering with sleep, making you want to avoid school, or leaving you constantly on edge - it may be time to reach out for extra support. A school counselor, trusted adult, or therapist can walk with you through it. You don't have to carry it alone.

Here's to meeting this year with courage, compassion, and a reminder that progress matters more than perfection. 💜

It's okay to need extra support sometimes. If back-to-school stress or anxiety is weighing on you, therapy can help you feel more grounded and confident. Reach out to me here to learn more.